My Letter to an Apostle

To the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve

When I joined the church at the age of twenty, I was feeling that new convert fire. I had quickly read through the Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and The Pearl of Great Price. I began to listen to conference talks from the 90's, invite the missionaries to speak to every one of my friends, and before I knew it I was preaching the gospel as a missionary in Wisconsin. I was a faithful member and my understanding of the gospel exponentially grew.

Over the years, I have turned to you and your counsel to get me through hard times. Recently, I have been trying to understand your view on sexual abuse, sexual assault, and the rape culture within the church. You see, a few months ago a friend of mine confided in me about the sexual abuse she experienced at the hand of her Bishop when she was a Young Woman. She described to me the details of being raped behind the closed and protected door of her Bishop's office. I was shocked and heartbroken to say the least. Since hearing her story, I have talked to many individuals who experienced abuse at the expense of their trusted leaders. In some cases, these people were seeking help from their bishop after a stranger or even a loved one had sexually harmed them in some way. All stories differed, but one thing remained a constant: everyone was traumatized and damaged because of it. 

By now, you have heard of Sam Young. You know about his hunger strike. He has given each of you an open invitation to come and speak with the concerned and mourning members of your church. So far, you have left many of us outside waiting. Not too long ago, you were hand delivered thousands of written accounts detailing the disgusting and horrific things that have happened because of your policies regarding one-on-one interviews with minors and sexually explicit questioning. You claim to have read every story, yet have chosen to remain silent. 

Naturally, members across the state and even across the Country have gotten word of Sam's project and have expressed their concern for the safety of our children. Some, including my husband and myself, have found time out of our week to go to Salt Lake and introduce ourselves to Sam and offer love and support. Over the course of the last 3 days, people have lined the sidewalk waiting for your presence; waiting to hear your comforting words. I have joined live feeds along with many others anxiously engaged in a good cause. Sunday morning, when the news caught wind of Sam, I was sure that my beloved church leaders would come through. To my dismay, the first side chat with an apostle was held without an apostle... I have continued to watch, hoping that someone would jump at the opportunity to minister to those that truly need it. 

Back when prayers, church and temple attendance, fasting and scripture study fueled my faithful fire, I believed that each and every one of you were Prophets, Seers, and Revelators. As my time in the church has trailed along, I am continually let down by you. From my perspective, dedicating million dollar temples and a desire to politically control those in and out of the church is more important than spreading Christ's love. 

Brethren, there are policies within this church that are harming and killing people. There are issues within this church that deserve to be addressed and can be fixed. You have millions of people to care for and almighty God to answer to. On behalf of my broken hearted brothers and sisters I am writing to ask you to please participate in this project. Surely we can all agree that the protection of our children and the healing of the adults is the most important thing to Christ. As His representative it is your privilege to minister in a way that no one else can. Your listening ears and loving counsel can set the pace for healthier and happier Latter-Day Saints.

I am deeply troubled by your absence and even your avoidance, however I hold on to hope that the Lord will soften your hearts. Many are watching to see what you will do. Please join us in making this church a safe place.

With love, 

A Troubled Member